Stop balancing and start integrating.

When you take intentional action to do what matters for people who matter, then your stress goes down.  You feel a greater sense of control, and you learn that you have more freedom than you thought you had.  ~Stew Friedman

The phrase "work-life balance" was first used in the U.S. in 1986.  However, the work-leisure dichotomy was invented in the mid-1800s.  Author Paul Krassner says that anthropologists use the definition of happiness that is to have as little separation as possible "between your work and play."   

How do you know if you're out of balance?  There are several clues.  First, 75%-90% of physician visits are related to stress and, according to the American Institute of Stress, the cost to industry has been estimated at $200 billion-$300 billion a year.  So, if your stress level is sending you to the doctor, then you are quite likely out of balance.

If you feel a loss of control or you live an out-of-control life, that's another clue.  If you can tell that your productivity is down, or you aren't engaged in your community, those too are signs of a lack of balance.

But this isn't about balance anymore.  More and more authors and experts suggest a view of work-life integration.  Balance suggests that our lives are compartmentalized; that the domains of our life should not overlap or become interdependent.  Using anthropologists' definition of happiness to illustrate integration, it's when there is little separation between work and play. 

When I read several articles and blog posts on this topic, I noticed a word was used repeatedly: deliberate.  Integration is about making deliberate choices.  Instead of assuming that our domains of life are being thrust upon us, we make deliberate choices about those domains.  Stew Friedman says we should "Design an experiment in which you are deliberately aiming to improve your performance and results in each of the four domains (work, home, community, self)—not to trade them off or to balance one against the other, but to enhance all of them."

Authors Boris Groysberg and Robin Abrahams describe it this way in a recent article in HBR, "By making deliberate choices about which opportunities they'll pursue and which they'll decline, rather than simply reacting to emergencies, leaders can and do engage meaningfully with work, family, and community.  They've discovered through hard experience that prospering in the senior ranks is a matter of carefully combining work and home so as not to lose themselves, their loved ones, or their foothold on success.  Those who do this most effectively involve their families in work decisions and activities.  They also vigilantly manage their own human capital, endeavoring to give both work and home their due—over years, not weeks or days."

My takeaway from reading several articles on this topic, in order to have work-life integration, is to first define what success looks like in all areas of your life – work, home, community, and self.  Then, be deliberate about enhancing all of them and stop trying to make trade-offs among them.  Have as little separation as possible between work and play.

Deliberate integration can reduce stress and give you a sense of control you thought was only wishful thinking.