Leaders become great when they hit bottom.

Leaders had something that made them feel that desperate sense of hitting bottom.  It's as if at that moment the iron entered their soul; that moment created the resilience that leaders need.  ~Warren Bennis

Is it possible that when you hit bottom it can actually propel you to the top?  Not exactly the path that any of us would prefer, but it might be the path to genuine and authentic leadership.  

The full quote from Warren Bennis reads: “The leaders I met, whatever walk of life they were from, whatever institutions they were presiding over, always referred back to the same failure, something that happened to them that was personally difficult, even traumatic, something that made them feel that desperate sense of hitting bottom—as something they thought was almost a necessity.  It's as if at that moment the iron entered their soul; that moment created the resilience that leaders need.”

I would like to add one more piece to this idea of hitting bottom.  Leaders not only hit bottom, but when they do, they let go.  It’s in the release of their grip that they are catapulted back to the top and the resilience is created.  It's not in the fight that we gain leadership strength, but in the act of surrender. 

One of my favorite quotes that I've likely mentioned before is from Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos.  Tony is a young entrepreneur.  He made millions while still in his 20s on a dot.com; he then created a venture capital firm and was the primary investor in Zappos.  Tony, now 38, was recently featured in a Barbara Walters special that focused on four billionaires who are giving back.  During that interview Barbara asked Tony for his definition of success.  This young billionaire’s definition: “You could lose everything you have, and truly be okay with it.”  Talk about hitting bottom?!  And letting go?!

A synonym for the word release is to make public.  I've watched a number of individuals, who had great leadership potential, hit bottom, but then hold on.  They couldn't release their grip or "make public" what had happened.  They couldn’t bring themselves to be transparent about the difficulty they were experiencing.  It didn't create resilience as Warren Bennis described, instead it created rigidity and resistance –a sense that if they held tighter they could control the situation.  But the situation only got worse.

I've frequently described myself as having the gift of stubbornness.  Pointed down the right path this can be really helpful, especially if it manifests itself in the form of determination and commitment. However, channeled in the wrong direction, something more like control, self-centeredness or avoiding shame, it can become destructive very quickly, pull me right down to the bottom, and keep me there.  

You'd think that having hit bottom and let go to see the result of iron entering my soul as Bennis states, that would make me very quick to let go in the future.  Not so much.  Even in less desperate circumstances I still pause.  I pause for a shorter time than I did in the past, but quite honestly, I still pause before I let go.  It's hard.  No question. 

How many of us could live up to Tony Hsieh's definition of success?  

We could lose everything we have, and truly be okay with it?

Could we hit bottom and let go?  

When we hit bottom would we find resilience or resistance?