Do you resist being changed?

People don’t resist change; they resist being changed.  ~Peter Senge

Change.  It's a topic that continues to challenge leaders and followers alike.  I don't typically quote Debbie Reynolds as a leadership expert; however, I think something she said describes most of us at some point in time.  She said, "I wanted to get that sense of peace and even boredom that comes with long familiarity."  

Recently, while sitting on my deck at my lake cottage in Michigan, I listened to many familiar sounds and found comfort in the familiar.  I could hear a variety of birds, many of which I couldn't specifically identify, but yet they were very familiar.  I could hear boats and skiers on the lake, children laughing, the bark of a dog or two, and a train whistle in the distance. 

When I transition to my condo balcony in downtown Chicago I hear many familiar sounds there as well, but the sounds are very different.  I hear the constant hum of the city, sirens passing by, a conversation or two, and the clang of wine and beer bottles being tossed into the dumpster from the restaurant across the alley.  Different yes, but still very familiar.

Contrast this with my trip to Africa in 2010 and I can still recall lying in bed listening to hippos down river having an intense debate, the baboons jumping right outside the door, an elephant or two rearing its trunk to call family members, and the occasional awful shriek of some creature that I could never identify.  At first, these sounds brought excitement and curiosity, trying to match a mental image with each new sound.  But after awhile, it became frustrating.  The sounds were not at all familiar and didn't bring me any comfort.  Instead they brought irritation because I couldn't fall asleep.

Why did I share my experience with all of these sounds?  Because I realized last week the true power of familiarity.  Once something becomes familiar, it brings us comfort.  Even in downtown Chicago, I actually find comfort in the hum of the city and the occasional siren.  Why?  Because it's familiar, I can identify it and in some ways I even identify with it.  It's a reminder of home, of something that brings me comfort.  And in Africa, nothing was familiar.  So even with all of the adventure I still wanted to fall asleep at night and I believed it was the comfort of the familiar that would allow me to get a good night's rest.

We live in an age of constant change and we can probably all agree that's not going to be any different in the near future.  But that knowledge doesn't seem to make adjusting to change, or being changed, any easier.  Raymond Lindquist said, "Courage is the power to let go of the familiar." As leaders, when we are asking others to embrace change and to let go of the familiar, we're really asking them to be courageous. 

Henry Kissinger, Secretary of State from 1973 to 1977, said "It is, after all, the responsibility of the expert to operate the familiar and that of a leader to transcend it."  I agree with Kissinger.  However, we're no longer living in 1977.  Thirty-six years later, change is rampant; it is no longer enough for only the leader to transcend the familiar.  The leader must now bring others along on that courageous journey – to transcend the familiar and be changed.