Let's memorize him!

Effective leaders have a subtle impact—a force so gentle and steady, it is barely perceptible…yet its effect can be felt for years, perhaps a lifetime.  ~Unknown

This week I attended a memorial service for a long-time member of my church who lost a year-long battle with cancer.  He was kind, gentle and courageously quiet.  He had developed a number of relationships over his lifetime where his persistent encouragement had a significant impact on individual lives. 

A young man who attended our church for a brief time now lives in his home country of China.  English is not his first language, but sometimes a slight misuse of language can become an insightful statement.  This young man emailed our pastor in response to the news of this man’s death.  After he went on and on in his email complimenting his kind nature, his caring demeanor, etc. he closed his comments with an emphatic declaration: “Let’s memorize him”!

I discovered this week’s quote on a personal trainer’s website.  I’m not quite sure where the quote came from but it described the life of the individual’s memorial service I attended precisely.  He had a subtle impact on people.  He was a force so gentle and steady that it was barely perceptible…yet its effect was felt for years, and for some, a lifetime.  His life was so inspiring that we all wanted to “memorize him.”

For me, this was a poignant reminder that our behaviors and actions, both good and bad, have a subtle impact.  This subtlety can be barely perceptible in the moment, but over an extended period of time can be felt for years, or a lifetime.

Harvard Business School professor Joseph Badaracco wrote a book on this topic entitled, Leading Quietly.  Badaracco says, “When we think of great leaders, it’s usually the charismatic, globally influential Churchill, Patton, Jack Welch who spring to mind.  But everyday leadership is not so dramatic, and daily leadership decisions are rarely carried out at the top of an organization.  What usually matters are careful, thoughtful, small, practical efforts by people working far from the limelight.  In short, quiet leadership is what moves and changes the world.”

In a post on Forbes online, writer Erika Anderson notes, “…when you look at what makes leaders ‘followable’ – what makes people fully commit to and rely on someone’s leadership – a big personality is nowhere in the list. The traits people look for, as I note in Leading So People Will Follow, are far-sighted, passionate, courageous, wise, generous and trustworthy.  And passionate, the attribute that people most associate with extroversion, is actually about depth of commitment:  you can be quietly, deeply passionate.”

When we think of a force we tend to think of power, strength and energy.  What if we shifted our mental model of a force to something that is gentle and steady, maybe even barely perceptible?  Would that force leave an impact so lasting, that others would want to “memorize” our leadership?  At the conclusion of a long life, I can’t think of a greater compliment than for others to say, “Let’s memorize him”!