Are you mind full or mindful?

Mindful: it's the awareness that arises by paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.  ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I've written about mindfulness before, but I read a blog this week that I thought provided a very relevant example of the importance of learning to be mindful.  This came from Chip Cutter, editor at LinkedIn, who wrote a blog post entitled, "A Harvard Economist’s Surprisingly Simple Productivity Secret."  The economist is Sendhil Mullainathan and this was his experience.

Mullainathan's own productivity breakthrough came when he dropped his cell phone in a toilet. 

That night, he went to dinner with friends, and found he had a surprisingly fun time. His friends didn't get more interesting. The food wasn't better than usual. What changed was that he didn't have his phone. 

That meant he couldn't receive potentially bothersome emails or text messages before or during the meal. "My bandwidth for those two hours was focused on the thing I wanted to be focused on," he says. 

Since then, he's made other changes. He no longer receives work email on his phone. Before a meeting, he tries not to get to check email, so he's focused on the discussion ahead. 

And he's come to a realization. 

"All those times that I thought I was using my time well -- 'Hey, I've got five minutes, let me check my email' -- I was actually using my bandwidth badly."

We all have a limited amount of mental bandwidth and we all try to stretch that bandwidth as much as possible.  In other words, we're using every ounce of our mental energy to be mind full.  What Mullainathan discovered is that we're actually more productive when we are mindful.  Chip Cutter said, "A lack of time isn't the issue; a lack of focus is."

Several months ago I was facilitating meetings with an executive team and I noticed that one of the VP's was frequently closing his eyes.  For a while I thought he was dosing, which surprised me because this was a small group of eight or nine so falling asleep was not going to go unnoticed.  Then later this VP said that he closes his eyes because he's trying to really think, or I would say, be mindful.  Even though part of what he oversees in the organization is IT, he's one of the few VP's who does not sit down at the meeting and immediately flip open his iPad (which is not a mindful practice).  When I step back and look at this VP's overall personality and behavior, he's probably one of the most focused and mindful people I know.  He's mindful; and his department is one of the most efficient and productive in the organization.

Janice Marturano, founder and executive director of the Institute for Mindful Leadership says, "Our minds can become distracted by the urgent at the expense of the important and we can become so preoccupied with yesterday and tomorrow that we are no longer able to excel at leading in the present."

So I'll ask again, are you mind full or mindful?

Check your asking-to-telling ratio.

Leadership is about allowing others the chance to flourish.  And you do that by asking questions.  ~Gary Cohen

In past decades most supervisors could do their employee's job, and leaders of the organization could do many of the jobs as well.  But today, far fewer bosses know how to do an employee's job.  Therefore, moving from telling to asking is no longer optional, it's essential.  Leaders who default to "telling" as opposed to "asking" and helping staff develop their own critical thinking skills so they can be more self-directed, may actually be reinforcing a sense of shortsightedness or dependence that clogs up the system and makes the organization less agile.

Thinking back to our high school debate teams, we learned that persuasion happened through well-prepared logic using facts and figures.  Many organizations use this same approach.  If you present your logic, complete buy-in throughout the organization is certain.  Not so much.  Unfortunately, we have also been trained to argue when we're presented with someone else's logic (just watch a little primetime TV).  Rather than stating logic, ask a series of questions that will lead your staff to work out the logic on their own.  Your staff will reach their own conclusion based on your questions.  They will buy-in to a conclusion they have reached on their own much faster (and longer) than they will buy-in to a statement you make, even if it is supported by logic.

This week I came across an article in Forbes online entitled, Ask Great Questions: Leadership Skills of Socrates.  One of the points I found especially helpful.  The author, Michael Lindenmayer, suggested focusing your questions on three P's.

The three P's are: possibilities, probabilities and priorities. These three are sequentially linked. Apply different questions to the different categories. Certain questions generate possibilities. Other questions sharpen the team's ability to assess the probable outcome of potential decisions. The third set of questions help to empower team members to prioritize. While Socrates engaged in philosophical dialogues over long periods of time, you have a venture to run. And that means taking action. Learn to apply different questions to the three P's; it will help advance your endeavor.

Gary Cohen, author of Just Ask Leadership says, "Leadership is about allowing others the chance to flourish.  And you do that by asking questions.  This empowers coworkers to find solutions, embrace responsibility, and become accountable. Moreover, it opens the door to greater productivity and creativity. Indeed, more than ever before, leaders can't know everything. By seeking others' input, they can inspire powerful and positive change."

So tomorrow morning, when we wake up, let's ask ourselves which great questions we will bring to our organization that will advance our mission and allow others to flourish.

Wow, you're different!

It is not our differences that divide us.  It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.  ~Audre Lorde

Lately I've been thinking that it's not the obvious differences that make getting along difficult; it's the subtle differences that get under our skin, just simply annoy us, and probably make us a little judgmental.  I've heard a lot of people say they are accepting of people who are different, but then I see behavior that tells another story.  I'd suggest first that their definition of acceptance may really be tolerance.  And second, I’d suggest that the understated differences in perspective and approach are what make us most irritated at the end of the day.

I was reminded of this recently in a conversation with my financial advisor.  I was describing some of the work I've been doing in consulting and coaching and he said the most critical lesson he'd ever learned was that people really are different.  While that sounds simplistic, it's really quite insightful.  In his case, for example, he recognizes that everyone has their own unique comfort level when it comes to their money.  As he described me, some people like to keep a sizeable amount of money in their money market account so they have quick and easy access to cash, if necessary.  While others, are okay to leave a rather small amount in their money market so they can immediately funnel any excess into their investments (which are not as readily accessible).  He doesn't tell people what is the right way.  Instead, he spends time learning their comfort level and then does his best to work with them within that framework.  In other words, he recognizes, accepts and then celebrates his clients' differences.

In organizations I see leaders who get frustrated when others aren't sharing their perspective.  For example, some leaders want to keep as many options open as possible and not be too confined by a narrow focus.  However, their executive team may have a differing perspective and crave a specific focus so they can attack it.  In other cases I've seen the overall pace, or at least perceived pace, cause angst among leadership teams.  And I've had leaders say to me, “it would be a lot easier if everyone just thought the same way I do.”

Hillary Clinton said, "What we have to do…is to find a way to celebrate our diversity and debate our differences without fracturing our communities."  While she was speaking on a more global level, I think the sentiment of that statement can certainly apply to organizations, both large and small.

Do we celebrate our differences or do we tolerate our differences and let them fracture our organizations over time?  Synonyms for tolerate are stand, bear, put up with, endure, and stomach.  Not exactly a culture most of us would want to be part of on a daily basis.  Whereas synonyms for celebrate are rejoice, party, have fun, and enjoy yourself.  That certainly creates an image that would make nearly everyone excited about showing up at work on Monday morning.

As leaders, are we celebrating differences or tolerating differences, even the subtle ones?

Who's happy?

Someone who has a dozen mildly nice things happen each day is likely to be happier than somebody who has a single truly amazing thing happen.  So wear comfortable shoes, give your wife a big kiss, sneak a french fry.  ~Daniel Gilbert

Harvard Business Review cover headline, January-February 2012: The Value of Happiness:  How Employee Well-Being Drives Profits.  This cover headline is significant, let me explain. 

In three short weeks I'll hit my 100^th blog post.  Throughout the past nearly two years of weekly writing, I've not taken the opportunity to vent a little so I feel like I've earned this opportunity.  Last week while watching the national news (I'll not mention which network), they included a feature story on the IRS.  This isn't surprising given all of their recent controversy and I'm certainly not going to attempt to defend the IRS' behavior. 

During this story the reporters highlighted what they believed was gross over-spending by the IRS.  One item they chose to include on their list of over-spending was $11,000 for a "happiness expert."  I was stunned.  I guess the writers and producers didn't do any fact checking or research on happiness in the workplace before they decided to scoff at the IRS' spending for a happiness expert. 

Not only was happiness the lead story for the Jan/Feb 2012 HBR, it was the theme for the issue.  Here are just a couple of examples of actual scientific support.

In a sweeping meta-analysis of 225 academic studies, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Laura King, and Ed Diener found that happy employees have, on average, 31% higher productivity; their sales are 37% higher; their creativity is three times higher. 

Quoting Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness, "Psychologists want to understand what people feel, economists want to know what people value, and neuroscientists want to know how people's brains respond to rewards.  Having three separate disciplines all interested in a single topic has put that topic on the scientific map.  Papers on happiness are published in Science, people who study happiness win Noble prizes, and governments all over the world are rushing to figure out how to measure and increase the happiness of their citizens."

I suppose the lesson in all this could be to do some fact checking before going on the national news mocking an organization's tactics for increasing productivity.  But what I'm really trying to emphasize is that happiness matters.  Our mental and emotional health is not only important, it's critical, and organizations should be investing in happiness.  Seeing this scoffed at on the national news made me feel like we took several steps backwards when it comes to understanding organizations and the people who work within those organizations.

If that's not enough, in 1776 our forefathers had the foresight to include in the Declaration of Independence, that all men have a right to the pursuit of happiness.  Have we really lost sight of this virtue?

If you faced Goliath, would you feel fear or possibility?

When Goliath came against the Israelites, the soldiers all thought, “He’s so big we can never kill him.”  But David looked at the same giant and thought, “He’s so big, I can’t miss him.”  ~Dale Turner

It's all in the eyes of the beholder.  Our emotions or how we feel about a given situation is significantly affected by the meaning we give to what we experience.  And the meaning we give to any experience is shaped by the lens or filter through which we perceive it.  David was clearly viewing Goliath through a different lens or filter than the other soldiers.  While they felt fear, David felt possibility. 

That means if we can change the way we look at something, by reframing it, we change the meaning and in turn, change the emotion attached to it.  Reframing isn't always easy, but I do believe it comes more easily with practice.  It might be helpful to first remind ourselves that our perspective on a given situation is exactly that, ours.  There are always many ways to view the very same situation. 

Here are a few questions you could ask yourself to reframe your perspective on a given situation.

If you were feeling resourceful and generous, how might you look at this situation?

What's missing here, that once it is included will make this situation flow?

What if the opposite were true; what would that look like?

Put yourself in the shoes of the other person, what do you think is their perspective?

What would it look like if you were empathetic instead of irritated, frustrated, or angry?

How does that perspective work for you?

Imagine yourself in a week, a month, a year in the future – how much do you care about winning this one argument?

An example frequently used to illustrate the art of reframing is Thomas Edison.  He made somewhere around 10,000 attempts to invent the incandescent light bulb.  Others would scold him for failing over and over and would ask when he was going to stop trying.  It is said that he replied with, "I didn't fail, I just figured out another way not to invent the light bulb."  He reframed failure as a process of gaining more knowledge that would get him one step closer to realizing his vision.  The reframing made Edison feel empowered so he continued.

Another of history's great minds, Albert Einstein said, "You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it.  You must learn to see the world anew."

We all have moments where we become stuck or find ourselves at an impasse of some sort.  We can continue to hold on to our same view or perspective with stubborn determination, or we can explore other perspectives and reframe our thinking to get unstuck.  As leaders, we must be willing to continually see the world anew.

Do you behave?

Leadership requires a profound understanding of self.  The problem with leadership is you have to behave all day long.  ~S. Blanchard

A friend posted this quote on Facebook last week and I've been mulling it over ever since.  I struggle with the idea of leadership skills because I really don’t think leadership is a "skill."  I've always put a skill into the category of something you can watch or observe and then copy or mimic.  I believe that leadership is a way to behave and it's our behaviors that allow us to lead. 

This past week I facilitated a planning retreat for a client.  The leaders in the room were divided into groups and given the task to come up with an implementation plan for the behaviors that they believe reflect the culture they are trying to create.  I walked up to one of the groups who had been talking for some time but had not yet begun to write anything.  When I encouraged them to pick up their pace and begin to outline their plan they said they were stuck.  They said, "You're really talking about changing someone's behavior and that's really hard."  That was one of those moments as a consultant where inside I was jumping up and down and cheering because they got it. 

Changing behavior is really hard and that's why leadership is hard.  It's not a skill.  Many years ago, actually decades, when I was in high school I learned to type on a Selectric typewriter.  One of those antiques with the metal ball that spins around and hits the ribbon as you type.  We were told how to position our hands on the keyboard, which fingers were to hit which keys.  Then the teacher would demonstrate so we could copy her actions.  That's how I learned the skill of typing. 

Behavior, on the other hand, involves changing something that's ingrained into our routine or even into our being.  A physician friend often says that people don’t change their behavior until the pain of not changing outweighs the pain of change.    

William James, philosopher and psychologist, said that humans are biologically prone to habit or we are "mere bundles of habit." It is because of these bundles of habits that we are able to perform many of our daily tasks without thinking about it, like brushing our teeth.  However, one could also conclude that trying to unbundle those habits, and change them, may not be an easy task.

Typing was a skill that I first learned in high school. Currently, I'm working to change my behavior to become more mindful, completely present for other people, and really listen.  Even though this is a self-imposed goal and I can envision great benefits of reaching this goal, it's still really hard.  Unbundling my current habits and replacing them with new ones is not easy.  Synonyms for habit are routine, custom, tradition, and pattern.  All words that imply something that's been around for awhile and sounds as if it might take an act of God to change it.

Continuously developing our leadership behavior is a challenge, no doubt.  If it was easy, there'd probably be a lot more leaders.  Blanchard said it well, "the problem with leadership is you have to behave all day long."

Are you a wandering leader?

Focus means understanding what your priorities are in any given hour, day, month, quarter or year.  Without focus, it's easy to wander – it's easy to become reactive instead of proactive – it's easy to fail.  ~Dave Kerpen

I've written about focus before, but it's so critical someone could dedicate an entire blog to the topic.  The quote I chose this week comes from a paragraph in a blog by Dave Kerpen.  Here's the paragraph in its entirety.

Focus means understanding what your priorities are in any given hour, day, month, quarter or year. Focus means knowing what's most important - product, service, hiring, fundraising, sales or innovation, and then concentrating on that one thing. Focus means knowing what's not as important in any given time period. Without focus, it's easy to wander - it's easy to become reactive instead of proactive - it's easy to fail. With focus and determination, you and your team will understand what's most important, and help you execute - to success.

Have you ever tried to follow someone who's wandering?  Maybe you've been driving somewhere and you're trying to follow another driver who doesn't have precise directions and is trying to find the destination by instinct.  Or, speaking from experience, your dog gets lose in a large city park and darts back and forth and around in unexpected places.  The point is, it's not easy to follow someone who's wandering, it's frustrating, and many times it feels like a real waste of time.

Focus is a way of being, it's constantly making judgments, it's being intentionally proactive and not reactive.  It means you understand what your priorities are at any given moment.

Years ago I was the director of marketing for a college.  We not only led the college's external marketing efforts but we also served as a resource for other internal departments.  We did our best to provide responsive customer service to our colleagues.  However, after enduring much frustration I had to change this policy for one of the vice presidents.  I discovered that he was a wanderer.  He would come to us with a request and we'd jump right on it.  We'd get it completed, sometimes in record time, and when I'd deliver the completed product he would actually sometimes say, "What's this for?"  In his wandering style of leadership he would have already moved on to another idea, I think sometimes within hours, but failed to let us know.  The new policy I established for this VP was that we would begin his requests only after he asked for the same thing at least three times.  That would be our indicator that he wasn't "wandering" and actually had some focus.     

Establishing and communicating priorities (aka: providing focus) is a crucial part of leadership. With so many opportunities, possibilities, and options available to all organizations today, it takes very little for some of us to start wandering.

Does your team know what's most important?  Do they know what's most important this year?  This quarter?  This month?  This day?  Yes, even this hour?  Or are you wandering?