Emotional labor?

Emotional labor is the act of connecting to another human being and making a change even if it’s not easy for you to do in that moment.  ~Seth Godin

In his book, Linchpin, Seth Godin states that no one pays you to do physical labor anymore.  You're getting paid for emotional labor.  It's the act of doing work you don't feel like, the act of having a conversation that might be difficult, etc.  It's the hard work of digging deep inside and producing an idea that scares you.  It's the act of connecting to another human being and making a change even if it’s not easy for you to do in that moment.

I grew up on a farm in Kansas, so my developmental years were dominated by physical labor.  Having three older brothers, my participation in the physical labor of farming was limited.  However, as several of my brothers graduated and moved on to other careers, I needed to lend a hand out in the fields.  One of my periodic jobs was to drive the tractor and pull a baler while either my brother or father stacked the hay bales on the trailer that was also attached behind the baler.  While we had to work in tandem, it was nearly all physical labor, very little emotional labor. Except for the occasion when I would let up on the clutch too quickly which wasn't good for the baler or the person attempting to stand on the moving trailer.  In those moments a little emotion was expressed by my brother, my father was more tolerant of my less than perfect clutching abilities.

But we really could get by (for better or worse) without a great deal of communication or emotional labor.  Today's workplace is a dramatic shift from my childhood; and since some of you are thinking it, I'll go ahead and say it, "we're not in Kansas anymore."

In the days of physical labor much of the work was done in an assembly line or it was somehow repetitious, much like my driving the tractor on the farm.  My personality type didn't really matter, my personal strengths didn't have to play a role, my worldview didn't alter how I approached the work.  If I could watch someone else go through the motions, then I could copy what they were doing and get the job done.  If only emotional labor was that easy to learn.

Emotional labor takes time and effort, and in our fast-paced society we don't always want to give emotional labor the time it requires.  Someone new is hired in a leadership or managerial role and they jump right into the "task" of doing their work.  We short-cut and side-step getting to know the people with whom we spend the majority of our time.  We wonder why the leadership team (or any team for that matter) doesn't quite seem in sync.  Or, we refer to our half-day team building retreat from three years ago and question why we don't seem to be firing on all cylinders. 

Emotional labor is not a one-time event or fully covered in employee onboarding.  It's hard labor that needs to happen every day.  It's the act of doing work you don't feel like, the act of having a conversation that might be difficult, etc.

I've watched leadership teams go from awkward and inefficient artificial harmony to moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful; but only after investing heavily in the work of emotional labor.  Connecting to another human being and making a change even if it's not easy to do in that moment.

Schedule nothing!

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.  ~Stephen R. Covey    There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.  ~Henry Kissinger

Jeff Weiner, CEO of LinkedIn, had a title to his blog post last week that got my attention: The Importance of Scheduling Nothing.  This reminded me of a client who recently said to me, "I just need time to think."  She is the type of person who crams her schedule full of meetings and phone calls.  But she was realizing that she couldn't serve her own clients well if she didn't prioritize time to think so she could give them her best strategic thinking.

Weiner also talked about the transition from tactical execution to thinking strategically.  This transition can be fueled by a number of factors – organizational growth, environmental shifts, or simply being promoted from a managerial position to a leadership position.  One of the challenges I think many of us struggle with in this transition is the idea that "thinking" doesn't always have the same immediate tangible outcome as does tactical execution or doing something.  Consequently, we don't feel as productive when we're thinking.

To help reframe that perspective, here's how Weiner describes thinking:

Thinking, if done properly, requires uninterrupted focus; thoroughly developing and questioning assumptions; synthesizing all of the data, information and knowledge that's incessantly coming your way; connecting dots, bouncing ideas off of trusted colleagues; and iterating through multiple scenarios. In other words, it takes time. And that time will only be available if you carve it out for yourself. Conversely, if you don't take the time to think proactively you will increasingly find yourself reacting to your environment rather than influencing it. The resulting situation will inevitably require far more time (and meetings) than thinking strategically would have to begin with.

Thinking is so important to Jeff Weiner that he blocks out at least 90 minutes (sometimes in 30-minute increments) every day to think.  He doesn't schedule anything specific for that time other than thinking.  He, literally, schedules 90 minutes of "nothing" every day.

I'm guessing that at least some of us are thinking Weiner leads a large organization; of course he has the luxury of scheduling time for nothing.  He has a leadership team and managerial staff to do all of the executing.  What about those who lead a one-person business, or who are in a mid-level role, or lead a small organization?  I think the same principle not only still applies; it is just as critical.  Time is a level playing field.  We all have only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week, no more, no less.  And no matter how large or small the organization, we are all still left with the truth that "if we're not spending time thinking proactively, then we will be reacting to our environment rather than influencing it."

Does reacting or influencing have a greater likelihood for long-term sustainability? Frequently, while on dog walks in my neighborhood, I wander by a condo building called "The Montgomery."  It got its name from the previous owner, Montgomery Wards.  I think their leadership tried to react to the environment, and they tried hard, but failed to have any influence.  Makes me wonder how much thinking time was  taking place in those conference rooms, offices, and hallways that are now filled with kitchens, bedrooms, and living rooms. 

How's your mental hygiene?

The faculty of voluntarily bringing back a wandering attention, over and over again, is the very root of judgment, character, and will.  ~William James

Have you ever worked with someone who frequently became defensive?  What about the person whose mind seems to wander quickly in meetings?  Or the colleague who is always trying really hard but continues to struggle with time management?  Have you ever worked with someone who seemed so focused, clear, creative, and compassionate in the midst of a fast-paced and complex organization that you wondered if they could be for real?

All of these scenarios have something in common – mindfulness.  This is what William James described when he said "voluntarily bringing back a wandering attention, over and over again."  In recent years, mindful leadership has gained momentum.  Effective leadership requires self-knowledge, self-awareness, and centeredness.  Research tells us that the best leaders have some method to manage the barrage of information, data, possibilities, perspectives, and opportunities to sustain their presence of mind and overall health. 

A mindful leader trains their mind to turnoff their autopilot, multitasking habits so they can bring all of their mind's capabilities to the moments of their lives.  The American Psychological Association says "The inability to focus for even 10 minutes on any one thing at a time may be costing you 20 to 40 percent in terms of efficiency and productivity."

Here's the really good news, at least for me, mindfulness can be learned, with practice.  One of the most common ways to learn to become more mindful is through the practice of meditation.  If I just lost you, hold on for one minute.  For many of us, meditation may have been labeled or defined as thinking about nothing.  As I now understand it, that’s not really accurate.   Meditation is a practice that enables just what William James described, the ability to bring your mind/attention back to center, over and over again.  When you meditate your mind will wander; that doesn't mean you're unsuccessful or doing it wrong.  When you recognize that your mind has wandered and you bring it back to center, you are very much meditating.

Through meditation, you learn to become mindful.  When you are mindful of something, you are observing it, not caught up in it, and not identified with it.  You release any judgment about it.  By releasing judgment you are able to be more focused, see it with more clarity, and become more creative because you have no preconceived notion as to what is.

If you think that mindful leadership sounds like a lot of gobbledygook, I'd suggest you give it a test drive for a couple of weeks and see if you can sense a difference.  Organizations like General Mills, Target, Intel, Mayo Clinic, and United Way have invested heavily in training their leaders to become more mindful.

We brush our teeth every day because we believe that dental hygiene is important.  Our mind and mental abilities are key to successful leadership; so what are our mental hygiene practices?  

Danger. Danger.

One danger is that we fall in love with the path and lose sight of the goal; another danger is quietism: to be looking at the goal and doing nothing on the path. ~Pope Francis

As we embark on Holy Week, it seems fitting to look to one of our recently appointed religious leaders for some leadership wisdom.  In a very short time Pope Francis was catapulted into a leadership role and has become a model of humility and grace balanced with determination and tenacity.  An example of that determination and tenacity is expressed in this quote about the danger of losing sight of the goal and doing nothing.

Falling in love with the path and losing sight of the goal can take on many forms.  There's the obvious, which is the, we've always done it that way syndrome.  There are also more subtle forms.  Like feeling so glued to the date on your strategic plan that you delay making modifications or creating a new plan until the published date on the plan has "expired."  You may have categorically agreed that either the plan just simply isn't working or that you've actually completed everything on the plan ahead of schedule.  In either case, the current plan has clearly outlived its usefulness but you're not going to make any changes until you've reached the published date of completion.    

The examples I just provided are somewhat mechanical or technical.  But sometimes falling in love with the path can reflect our values or underlying beliefs, something far more personal.  When we limit our view of the world by our own beliefs, we consequently create a very narrow path.  We might be wise to broaden or extend the path by allowing other beliefs to also lead to the very same destination.  We fall in love with the path and lose sight of the goal.

Quietism: to be looking at the goal and doing nothing on the path.  I think we fall victim to this danger far more frequently than we are willing to recognize or admit.  I've been using an exercise with clients recently that illustrates this point.  In some of Patrick Lencioni's recent work he suggests that leadership teams need to agree upon a thematic goal or a rallying cry.  This represents what they believe to be most important, right now.  It's a short-term, almost immediate goal (typically 3 months or less).  Once the leadership team has agreed upon this rallying cry or thematic goal for the coming few months, I then go around the room and ask each one of them what they are going to do differently or re-prioritize in the coming months in order to achieve this thematic goal. 

The leaders in the room are typically a little startled when I do this.  They are surprised that I'm asking what they, personally, are going to do differently in order to achieve the goal.  I have found that it's common for leaders to agree upon a goal and then return to their offices and continue with their work, as usual.  They are all looking at the goal, but doing nothing on the path. 

I don't want to over-analyze the Pope's choice of words, but I am intrigued that he chose to use the word danger and not something less severe like problem, pitfall or dilemma.  If it's truly a danger, then maybe it's time to pause and ask ourselves what have we done this week to move our organizations and ourselves further down the path toward our goals.

The dreaded 8-letter word: feedback.

Feedback is a gift. Ideas are the currency of our next success. Let people see you value both feedback and ideas.  ~Jim Trinka and Les Wallace

Last week was packed full of feedback.  My week started by facilitating a leadership team in an exercise to ease them into experiencing accountability.  They each wrote down the greatest strength and one area of improvement for every other team member.  Then we began with the CEO.  Each person first told him his greatest strength and then we went around the room one more time and each identified an area they believed he could improve upon.  Then the CEO could respond to what he had heard.  We repeated that process for every team member. 

What became a common theme throughout this exercise was how genuinely appreciative everyone was for the feedback.  This was not a painful process (as some had feared); in fact, there was a sufficient amount of laughter interspersed throughout the exercise.  As the final member of the team gave his response to what he heard from his colleagues, he provided the perfect closing to this session.  He said, "after doing this, I sense a greater level of trust among this group."  Feedback is a gift!

Next I spent time poring through the results of an employee satisfaction survey for another organization.  Like every organization, they heard both praises and pitfalls from their employees.  What followed from the CEO was not rationalization or defensiveness in response to the negative comments, but a plan of action that was already being put into place to address areas of concern.  Without this feedback, these potential pitfalls could continue to grow and fester and cause irreparable damage.  Feedback is a gift!

In another scenario, I learned that a supervisor is covering for one of their direct reports by trailing them and then "fixing" what doesn't get fully completed.  In this situation feedback is being avoided.  The consequence is that the direct report's credibility is being undermined because other people know that this supervisor is trailing them and picking up the pieces.  This supervisor is forgetting that feedback doesn't have to be painful.  In fact, feedback is a gift!

On a more personal note, I admittedly struggle with perfectionism.  Sometimes I'll avoid doing something or trying something because I know I won't be able to do it perfectly.  How shameful if I can’t perform perfectly!  I was coached through this dilemma this week.  One of my strengths (I'm using StrengthsFinder language) is "learner."  Part of the learning process is receiving feedback so you can change and improve.  If I can reframe my thinking from "not being perfect" to "an opportunity to learn" by receiving feedback I could maybe get beyond my not so helpful obsession with perfectionism.  So my mantra needs to become: Feedback is a gift!

Dr. Henry Cloud in his book, Integrity, recounts an incident that happened on a retreat for CEOs, when a young "superstar" was given an opportunity to receive feedback from a more senior CEO.

One of the more experienced guys looked up and said, "Want some feedback?" He said it in a way that left you wondering whether he was going to give sage advice or rail at the young man for being out to lunch in some way. There was just no way to tell from his poker face. But I will never forget the young superstar's immediate response: "By all means. Give me a gift." He saw the feedback, whatever it was, as a gift because it could give him some reality that he did not know. I remember thinking, "We will be watching this guy's accomplishments for a long time."

Feedback is a gift!

Could you handle the Shark Tank?

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.  ~Abraham Lincoln

One of my favorite TV shows is Shark Tank.  Each time I watch it I discover that I'm thinking that it deserves to be the topic of a blog post on leadership.  If you've seen the show, you may not be thinking the same thing.  If you haven't seen the show, it's a fairly simple concept.  There are five millionaire/billionaire venture capitalists ready to invest in any worthy business idea.  The inventors or entrepreneurs have only a few minutes to present their idea and ask for an investment in exchange for a percentage of their business.  This is followed by a few minutes of Q&A from the five venture capitalists. 

Each attempt/transaction is completed in minutes.  I realize that TV involves a great deal of editing, but in this case, the "pitch" appears to happen with no breaks or editing and is completed in probably less than five minutes.  Each entrepreneur is given only 15 minutes (including commercials) for their pitch and Q&A.  There are many aspects of the show that intrigue me, but what continues to amaze me is how quickly the Sharks (venture capitalists) come to a conclusion about the entrepreneur's character.  On a number of occasions I've seen one of the Sharks say, "I think your idea is okay, but I really like you so I'm going to invest in you."  I've also seen just the opposite happen a number of times.  In this case the Shark might say, "I really like your idea but I don't want to have to work with you so I'll offer you X dollars to buy your entire company."  Or, I believe just last week several of the Sharks responded with, "I don't trust you.  I'm out."

This evaluation of their character happens in minutes, not hours, days, or even months.  Of course, they have to make a characterization this quickly because that's all the time they are given.  Do we come to conclusions about individual's character that quickly as well, even when we're not put under an incredible time constraint?  And are people coming to conclusions about our character just as quickly?  I think the answer is yes.

These entrepreneurs walk into the Shark Tank thinking they've been given a great deal of power.  After all, they are meeting with five high profile venture capitalists ready to invest.  But their character becomes quickly evident once they begin to sell their idea.  Are they being fully transparent?  Do they have integrity?  Are they authentic?  Are they competent?  Can they be trusted?  Do they have the passion it will take to make their idea a success?

Daymond John, one of the Sharks, has been described as: "He's not only successful, he's honest and he knows investing in a company means investing in a person."  Mark Cuban, another of the infamous Sharks, is characterized as: "A man of his stature and influence still considers character to be an essential requirement for investment."

My somewhat unorthodox example of character provides a metaphor all leaders should consider. If you were given power, would someone invest in your character?

Change? Who, me?

One key to successful leadership is continuous personal change.  Personal change is a reflection of our inner growth and empowerment.  ~Robert E. Quinn

I don't think any of us would argue against the fact that we are living in an era of continuous change.  And many of us pride ourselves on our ability to maneuver our organizations through nonstop alterations.  However, this week in particular, I was struck by the how much we resist change when it becomes personal.

So much of leadership, if not nearly all of leadership, is expressed or manifested in how we behave.  Yes, that's right, a word that seems to make many leaders uncomfortable.  This week a leader said to me, "You mean you don’t want us to just change what we think but we need to change our behavior?"  Changing what we think is certainly a critical component, but if we stop there, what have we accomplished? 

I recall a definition of learning, I think it was from Warren Bennis, he said that learning takes place when we acquire new knowledge and then alter our behavior based upon that new knowledge.  In other words, acquiring knowledge, only, isn't really learning.  I also remember a sermon I heard many years ago about what repentance really meant.  The pastor said, repentance isn't just being sorry, it's "a new of thinking and a new way of doing."  If we don’t change our behavior, then we haven't really experienced repentance.

Mashall Goldsmith, a guru of executive coaching, said "After living with their dysfunctional behavior for so many years (a sunk cost if ever there was one), people become invested in defending their dysfunctions rather than changing them."  Peter Senge, author of the classic, The Fifth Discipline, stated "People don’t resist change.  They resist being changed!"  That's his exclamation point, not mine.

We may welcome change, as long as it's change around us, not within us. 

Given what I do for a living, I suppose it's not all that surprising that periodically people will call or meet with me and rant on and on about another person – a colleague, a supervisor, etc.  They spout off all of the things that bother them, that make them angry, that they disagree with, etc.  Then they pause, and ask me what they should say to that person to get them to change their behavior. 

When things aren't working for us, or aren't working as we believe they should, it's interesting that our first instinct is to search for ways to change the other person.  I'm certainly not advocating for a workplace where there is no accountability.  I am suggesting that we think of ourselves in a state of continuous personal change.  And that could mean that the best alternative to changing a situation or improving a working relationship is for us to seek ways that we can change our behavior. 

Robert Quinn, author of many books, wrote Deep Change: Discovering the Leader Within.  The basic premise of the book is to identify and describe the surprising relationship between organizational change and personal change.  Quinn says, "If organizations must make deep change more frequently, so must the people who work in organizations."

Change?  Who, me?  Yes, you.